Monday, March 16, 2009

BufBloPoFo '09 - Day Three

Man, these topics are NOT getting any easier. I can't think of anything I do well enough with which to do a blog lecture. I'm a true improv guy...Jack of all trades, master of none.

Well, let's take a quick look at some of the things I do, and see if we can't find something worth writing about.

OK, I already said that I do improv. That you know. Unfortunately, I'm the least talented guy in the group, so...pass.

I can do regular theatre, too. I just finished up the run of The Beauty Queen of Leenane at New Phoenix, and did pretty darn well. Unfortunately, most of the people who saw the show and know me, know me only from Eclectic, and would say something like,"I didn't know you did theatre." So I haven't reached the pinnacle of Buffalo thespianism, either. Next.

I can sing. Whether it's karaoke or rocking with Jump The Shark, I can carry a tune, baby. But how do you explain that? I can't tell you how to sing, especially not how to sing well. Either you do or you don't. I do.

I play a little ice hockey. Goaltender. Do you really want to know how to stop an 80 MPH slap shot with your face? Cause I've done that. Several times. As such, I can't remember much about how to stop a slap shot with your face.

Stop a slap shot with your face?? I've done that!! Wait, did I say that already? Uh...oh, yeah...I play a little ice hockey..........

I'm very good at cunnilingus, but I'm married, so you ladies will never find out HOW good and I'll never reveal my secrets to the guys. Figure it out on your own fellas! I suggest that you envision yourself as Indiana Jones. The only way to get that golden idol is to brave the mysteries of the cave.

Oh, wait! Back to improv! I do have one talent better than Don, Peter and Todd combined. I can take a fall! I'm the physical comedy guy! Watch at the end of Peter's sermon when Reverend Cumbo "heals" me. Does it look painful? Then I've done my job well.

Here's what you do...

Propel yourself backward, kicking your feet up slightly as you fall. Keep your back straight, arms at your side, palms down. Your head should be arched slightly forward, so as not to whack it on the hard, hard floor. Land on your back.

This will hurt.

A lot.

Repeat this move over and over until you can no longer feel pain.

Hope you learned something!

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